Maybe you have been guessing why none of your relationships prospered and what you can do make it work. Have you ever wondered where did you go wrong and what you could’ve done to make it go right? Well, we might have the answer to your question. It’s because of ‘Phubbing’. You must be thinking, what is that and why is it not letting my relationship last long. Now, all you have to do is continue reading to solve this mystery about, “What is phubbing, and why phubbing is hurting your relationships.
What is Phubbing?
Phubbing means paying more attention to your phone than the person sitting next to you. Or we can say it is the shorter form of “Partner phone snubbing”. So, do you realize it now that the word is new or unfamiliar but the phenomenon is certainly not? You are either the victim or the criminal of phubbing but you know what it is and how it sucks.
Phubbing is hurting your relationships
This is pretty annoying to have a person who is more obsessed with his/her phone that the people in real life. And not to boast but we are sure, you are one of them too. So many times, we ignore the person sitting next to us and keep ourselves engaged with our phones. Studies have been done and research has been conducted that has deduced the fact that phubbing is one of the major reason why our relationships don’t work. Researchers at Baylor University were the first one to call this phenomenon “Phubbing”.
Donna Arp Weitzman, Relationship Expert, while explaining the phenomenon of phubbing and its negative effects on relationships, says,
“In the United States, every person that has a smartphone or a cell phone looks at that cell phone 150 times a day; that’s every seven minutes, and so it becomes addictive,” she explained the addiction of smartphones in our lives. After reading the estimated time she has mentioned even you will realize this is too much.
“The person that’s being phubbed — the phubbee, if you will — begins to resent it, they feel ignored. They feel like the people on your cell phone or whatever that’s trying to reach you…are more important than your relationship. You have an intimate relationship with your smartphone, and it’s between you and the smartphone what’s going on. So sometimes your companion or your mate will be jealous and they’ll think that maybe you’re reaching out to other women other men. That you’re getting some sort of satisfaction from that that you’re not getting through your partner, your companion. Communication is the key and looking at your cell phone and phubbing the other person is not communicating.”
The way she has explained the negative impact phubbing has on the relationships is impressive. Phubbing doesn’t only make your partner feel unwanted or ignored but it also bows the seed of doubt and mistrust. They feel small about themselves and start wondering if they are not good enough for you. Or that you don’t have enough importance of them in your life.
Phubbing hurts your mental health
Phubbing is not only bad for your relationships but it also puts a negative effect on your mental health. A study suggests that keeping ourselves busy on our phones makes us feel less connected, lonely, and even depressed. Phubbing is said to be threatening your self-esteem as well. It makes you comfortable with chatting online over the phone but difficult in real life. You feel lack of confidence and anxiousness when you have to finally meet and talk to someone you have been chatting with so long.
Furthermore, you feel stressed and depressed when your partner phubs you. Seppälä was quoted saying that, “If your life partner is on the phone, that means that they are prioritizing something else over you in those moments of togetherness.” And the fun fact is Seppälä is not the part of any research related to phubbing. That makes it pretty relatable that even when we didn’t know what phubbing is, we felt the pain of being phubbed. This alone is the proof of the globality of this phenomenon.
Why not stop phubbing?
That means phubbing is not only affecting the phubee but also the phubber. And now, when you know that phubbing is not only bad for your relationship but also your mental health, don’t you think it is better to give up on this habit. No matter how hard it sounds now but we all can at least try. It would be amazing even if just for a day you keep your phone at a side and give proper and unshared attention to your loved one. Not just your wife/husband but also your friends and family. Try skipping on this habit for one day and feel the positivity around you and in your life. Once you have given up on this habit, you too will be happy and be enjoying the life and love more than ever.