You have intuition and researched a lot about, how to find your partner is cheating, then finally you have decided to hire a detective agency to collect the proof of cheating.
They have collected all the evidence and shared it with you. Now the question is, what to do when you have found your partner is really cheating? What next? There are already so much of unanswered questions running in your mind, the whole world has turned upside down, but still, the question remains same, what will be the next step?
Cheating and its consequences are devastating, everything just ends in a fraction of seconds. It is believed that generally, people cheat because they are sexually dissatisfied, but the fact is relationships also break because of emotional detachment, this becomes more painful and harder for the other person to hear and accept. You are now just left with the broken heart, which will haunt and make you suspicious throughout your life. Do cry as it is important to take out the pain, but don’t lose your hope it was not your fault, stop being a victim and move on.
Take a deep breath and Stay Calm
You have received evidence and you are now sure of the cheating, there is emotional turmoil inside you. You want to shout, break things, cry but wait it will not make you feel any better. Do call your best friend, it will help and then decide what to do next.
Don’t react impulsively, your mind is unstable in such a situation, give yourself space. Some time for you and your dear one’s safety it’s important to stay calm.
Don’t waste your time analyzing the evidence.
You are not able to accept the pieces of evidence, which is obvious because your heart doesn’t want to believe in it and your brain will keep on digging over the details to look for the answers.
But remember, don’t waste your precious time. It doesn’t mean you will rush to the office and start nagging. Wait for the right time, let the partner come home, find a suitable time and decide to talk. Also, if you think your partner doesn’t love you anymore, it will be useless to overreact or stay in the relationship and stretch it. However, just be sure of everything first that this is not only in your mind but the reality before making a scene out of it.
Be straight and confront them
You are in a situation when you are not able to speak what you have seen or know because of the emotional breakdown, so keep the shreds of evidence ready and be direct about them. Avoid making stories and expecting that your partner will confess, it’s a waste of time which will ultimately make you more measurable.
Also, you are not in a situation to hear anything, but it is better to discuss and ask all the questions running in your mind, but with open mind not with preoccupied set of thoughts because after that you have to decide, you want to give your relationship one more chance or does your partner deserve that chance?
Be prepared before confronting and asking questions because the reasons your partner is going to give won’t be pleasing to your ear. Don’t share this news with everyone in the family, as it will backfire when you will decide to be with your partner and give it one more chance.
Pen down the closest network
You may have started feeling alone, you need a friend or anyone from the family who is real and closest to you, it’s a tough choice. Choose them carefully, a person who can truly empathize with you.
Make sure they are not biased and a good listener who can understand and guide you on the right path. It’s your life and it’s up to you how much details you want to share and if you don’t feel the suggestion given by your friend is right, think and do what your intuition says, it’s your life and decisions.
If you have children.
The situation is worst, if you have children, think about them too. No child can decide he wants his mom or dad, both are important. Even they are not in age or situation to understand the details or whose fault it is.
Before taking any final decision to think about them and most important never drag them in between, never ask them to take sides, it will impact them badly.
You are supposed to behave maturely not out of impulse when you are a mother or father, do consult or seek professional help if you are not able to handle the situation but don’t spoil your children’s life.
Don’t fall into Bad Habits.
It’s easy to divert or numb your brain to seek temporary relief. But this relief has to be paid heavily. Taking drugs, getting dunked, using sleeping pills are all seems the answers to the pain and loneliness, but with a momentary delight, they will make your situation as well as health more pathetic.
It’s the biggest turmoil of life and there is no harm in visiting experts, don’t be afraid to take advise. Both the partners need professional advice for the sake of your relationship, children and mental peace.
Even if you have decided to separate and there is no chance for reconciliation meet regularly with a council for your own well-being and health, especially if you are feeling depressed and having suicidal thoughts. Do not ignore the feelings like sudden anger, sadness or anxiety.
The toughest decision but can be beneficial. Forgiving doesn’t really mean forgetting. Its never suggested to forgive and get back blindly into the relationship.
Also, it doesn’t mean everything is all right, it just means that you are ready to give it another chance. But it should be only when you want, and your partner has accepted to support you while acknowledging the mistakes.
Be sure that your partner has really cheated before going any forward. Don’t jump to the conclusion without collecting proofs. It’s not necessary that every instance of cheating is going to involve sexual intercourse, it depends on you and the boundaries you have set for both in your relationship.
If you feel that your partner has crossed that limit then do follow and try to find out the truth by your own first, once you are sure then go to the detective agency nearby to be double sure and collect evidence.
Also, read Is It Love Or Infatuation – How To Know The Difference?!!